The story of a kid trying to find his way to adulthood. Real life Lenny refering to "of mice and men". This individual was as big as can be but with very low self esteem, shy, timid etc. This is his story!
Have you ever been terrified of anything? Drowning? Burning alive? Being eaten alive by red fire ants after someone smeared you with honey and hung you upside down from a tree? We all have our fears. But have you ever been so terrified of a DOG that you possum up and play dead? Well, Possumboy has!
Possumboy was at my house one hot summer day. I asked him to take my dog out to the back yard so she can go poop. I figured this was a no brainer. But no… Not with Junior. Shit always has to get complicated. I was sitting in my living room chillin. All of a sudden I hear a dog barking, almost sounded like a ROOOOAAARRR!! I didn’t pay much attention because I figured that it was the neighbors BIG ASS PITBULL barking up a storm again.
Let me tell you a little bit about Daisy (the neighbor’s dog). She is a beautiful full blooded pitbull. She’s also possessed by demons. This dog must have been created in the far pits of hell. If you so much as looked at the Bitch (I mean that both literally and figuratively by the way) she would nearly knock the damn fence down. Well enough of the spawn of the devil. Let’s move on with the story.
At some point I heard my little dog barking her brains out. Please understand that my dog is the size of my foot. I go outside and find my dog trying to protect Possumboy from being the dogs dinner. Apparently what happened is, Possumboy gave the demon possessed dog a dirty look. She didn’t like it and used her head as a battering ram to knock down one of the wooden fence pieces. Needless to say she was successful. The piece of wood broke off and the dog was starting to go through the fence and into my back yard.
Now a normal human being, would run their ass as fast as possible inside a house, on top of a table, climb a tree etc. But Possumboy seemed to just possum up. He just stood there watching my dog trying to protect him, watching the other dog eat my dog as an appetizer. He froze. Stood still. Didn’t move. Locked up. Played dead. Played possum. Oh yeah that’s better. I go outside and yell at Junior to get the hell inside the house. I think his brain shut off or something happened because I had to yell at him for a good 45 seconds before I had any remote reaction from him. Luckily my intelligent little dog saw me and bolted towards the door. She said “You protect your damn self Possumboy I’m out.” Finally after using my dog as an example, Possumboy ran inside and lived to possum up another day.
Lesson learned: Demonic possessions in animals is possible. Also, when a big ass animal the same size as you is trying to make its way to you, RUNNNNNNN!!! Like there’s no tomorrow!!!
PossumBoy’s comments: One of these days Im going to kill that dog. w@rio’s comments: Ummm, it’s a little late smart. They moved! This is a graphical representation of how I picture this in my head. N-Joy
Well readers, this isnt a possimboy entry. This event is actually a bad dream I had that freaked me the hell out. I mean I woke up sweating and I couldn't even talk or breef!!
Here goes: So my dream started off very nice and peaceful. It was Me, my girlfriend(Mercedes), possumboy (junior), and their sister and my home skillet (Lupe). In my dream there was a meteor shower that was going to take place that evening. Junior and Mercedes decided to head up to the foothills and watch it from there since there is little tonight light pollution at that elevation. Lupe and I stayed back and were going to meet up with them. We start driving up the foothills and I start getting a very bad feeling In my gut! We arrived and parked at the bottom of the hill then headed up to meet them. We laid down on the grass and stared up at the vast open sky. The meteors started flying. It was a breath taking site (considering I have never actually seen a meteor shower).
Then, I started getting a bad feeling in my gut again. Not the bad feeling like when you have to fart, but the gut feeling that something is going to happen and its not good type. A couple of minutes pass and I hear from the other side of the hill we were laying on, "wow, the dust from the shower is falling on my arm!" Then I relized "hmm summin aint right", maybe not in those exact words but you get the picture. After thinking back to my high school science teacher and understanding that a meteor disinigrates in the atmosphere (damn check me out) and whatever is left over would hit the earth in a ball of mass, I started freaking out! I really didnt know why but something told me "dude you need to bounce".
I stood up and told all 3 of them, "we need to go guys, I have a horrible feeling about this" Of course by this time people are telling me to quiet down on the other side of the hill we were on, and my girlfriend and junior were getting pissed because I wouldnt be quiet. I started freaking out even worse, I had such an overwhelming sense of danger that I have never felt before. I started pulling my girlfriends hand and shirt trying to get her out of there. Finally, Mercedes says "look your acting dumb, I dont want to be around you. You get the car and we will meet you down there." I agreed. Lupe and I headed down hill for the car. I started running as fast as my feet could possibly take me. I finally reached the car, turned back and noticed that Lupe was half way up the hill. She had hurt her ankle! I got in the car, reved my engine and headed up hill to meet all of them halfways.
Remember that Im freaking out for no apparent reason at this time. I stop next to Lupe and pull her up from her shirt and into the car. We start making our way towards where Junior and Mercedes were laying. As we drive up everything stops, time itself stopped in my dream. I look over to my left and I see this HUGE, Nuclear type of bomb, not just any bomb I'm talking the size of a blimp! As I look at the bomb I see where it is headed to. It was headed towards the city! Time starts catching up to itself and we finally reach the top. But Junior and Mercedes are long gone. No where to be found. I get out of the car and frantically start looking for them. I run over to the spot where the other people were and notice everyone is slumped over. No one is moving, their just slumped over. I start calling for Mercedes and Junior but everyone is stuck, no movement. I start noticing that everyone has this sort of yellow-whiteish type powder on their arms and head. All of a sudden I see junior stand up. I walk towards him and notice his eyes are WHITE! Completely white. He starts walking down a hill. I try to stop him but cant. Then I see Mercedes get up. I grab her hand and pull her but she just keeps walking down the hill opposite to where we came from. I look at her eyes and the same thing, they're WHITE! I try to hold Mercedes back but I cant, in my dream I was using all my force, all my muscle but it wasnt enough.
I finally let her go and she starts walking down the hill. Then I look around and see a group of kids, they looked scared. I rush over to them and try to help them but notice their eyes are white too! WTF is going on!! They try to scratch me and start walking in the same direction as the others. I head back to the car to go get help and as I'm running back I notice everyone that was slumped over is now standing up looking at me with their white soul-less eyes. I get in the car freaked out. As I race away from where the bomb is going to blow, I can feel my engine going into overdrive. My heart is racing, my hands are shaking, im just flipping out! I drive into a cave type hole and then I hear the most horrible sound I have ever heard in mylife. It was an explosion along with the yelling of people. Sort of like the sound waves from the blast carried the yells and screams of people suffering right into my ears! Lupe and I pass out. We wake up a couple of minutes later. I drive my car out and head back to a surrounding city. At some point in my dream I catch a flat. Now we are on foot, I spot a church and head towards it. Lupe is still hurting because her ankle busted.
We finally make it to the church. To our surprise there is a group of people there, I notice there is a scientist. He makes an announcement. "Ladies and gentleman, please don't panic. We are working on a cure. For those of you that just got here let me fill you in. We are in biological war. Iraq has bombed us with a powder substance that will turn anyone who touches it into... into...the living dead." By this time I have a pain in my chest and I cant really can't breef. "Our enemies disguised the bombing as a meteor shower, but it was really missles exploding in high altitudes and showering people with this chemical!" All of a sudden a women screams, sounded like a bloody murder yell. Theres a little girl biting on her leg!! Lupe and I run out of the church and head down the street to a hospital. We turn the corner and end up in an alley. As we walk down the alley, one end is blocked by these zombie looking things, we double back and try to just stay clear but they now have both entrances covered. We're doomed!! I help Lupe climb over a trash can to jump a wall. We managed to get over it some how. By this time we can see the front of the hospital. We run as fast as we could in the hospital. I get to the front desk and start yelling at the nurse "help me! My family is out there and I need a vaccine, some pills, anything!!" She turns to look at me and I noticed she had a gun in her hands. She starts repeating, "were dead, we are all dead, were dead, we are all dead" but over and over. I look to see where Lupe was at and see her coming towards me. I turn back to look at the nurse and BANG!! She blew her head off right in front of me!!! So at this time I think I may have had a stroke or summin in my dream because I was freaking out even worse.
So, I see Lupe and she can bearly walk by this point. I start heading towards her and out of the blue a door opens next to her and these hands grab her by the ankles and pull her up from her legs. Her legs go up and her face came crashing down. She was so bloody and brused. I ran to her but as im running, the hallway gets longer and longer. As Im about to reach her to help, 2 hands pull me down by the back of my shirt and.... ... .. .. . I wakeup.
I woke up and Icouldnt talk, I was out of breath and my heart was racing. This was happening in real life!!! Well folks I figured I share my dream and also wanted to have it in writing so when this does happen I can say "I told you so". Well have a great day. Next entry will be a possumboy interview!
Check out this link. Its about how the world will end by 2012. Just thought it goes well with my dream:
We were sitting in a hospital a couple of days ago. I was getting bored of waiting for my friend to be released so I decided to interview Junior. Here is the interview:
Time: 2:45 AM Place: Saint Agnes Hospital Wario's state of mind: Bored shitless Junior's state of mind: Possumboy W=Wario PB=Junior (PossumBoy)
w: Is there a booger in ma nose? pb: NO
w: You sure? Can I borrow your pinky to check? pb: No! That's disgusting
w: Ok, serious time. What do you think of your blog so far? pb: It's a good experience for me to see my progress.
w: Can you stop being gay for just a second at least? pb: You know what? I feel like hitting you
w: So your emo because you feel? pb: Im an not emo! (said it like a whinny white chick) and why the hell did you just hit me?
w: Dont answer my question with another question! pb: *silence and lost stare*
w: Ok, serious time again. Whats your best childhood memory? pb: hmm... When I got my first bike.
w: Did you take the seat off of the bike and sit on the pole? pb: No you fu#$@ pervert!
w: You sure? pb: Im positive!!!
w: I dont believe you but lets move on. pb: I remember I would crash into trash cans alot
w: Is that because your gay? pb: Is it wrong to kick your ass in a hospital?
w: Stick to the subject possumboy. Answer my question. pb: What the hell.... Fuck man...
w: Ok lets move on. Tell me about your ex. pb: The rat?
w: Yes, the rat. pb: One word. BITCH!
w: Why? Pb: Her name was Ladonna, she smells bad, she was fat, and she tried to hard to be funny. She was a gold digging slut.
w: Ok tell me about her, give us an example of her bitchiness. pb: Whenever I did'nt have money she would get pissed.
** Hospital sound over intercom... Music... Sounded like when you lose at a video game, you know whoomp, whoomp, whoomp, whooooommp.
w: Junior did someone just croak? pb: Dude your fucked up
w: haha Game over for that guy w: Ok moving on w: We need jucier info. pb: Once she told me to shit on her chest. I said no and she was pissed.
**Nurse & Doctor runs to front of hospital doors. "Possible heart attack in front!" Nurse said. pb: Oo Shipoopi! w: Lol hahaha.... Dude thats fucked up! Your going straight to hell!
**Nurse rolls in a mentally retarded young guy. He is having a seizure or stroke right next to us! w: Junior you laugh and your going to hell. w: Lets continue (pretending at this point hat the kid isnt freaking me out) w: So you hate that broad huh? pb: Yeah I hope she gets pregnant and dumped by the guy.
w: Dude thats the gayest thing I ever heard you say! Come on try harder than that. pb: I hope someone jizzes in her eyes and gives her cateracts!
w: Thast more like it! Your learning! ***Couple min pass***
w: Ok, now your boring me. pb: No im not. Your just tired. w: No, your boring me to tears! pb: No your tired, its 3:15 am thats all it is.
*** Tall nerd looking kid walks into the guys restroom***
pb: Hey wario, hes waiting for you. w: No, hes waiting for your mom. pb: No! shhh.... listen... (possumboy whispers warioooo) see you hear that hes calling for you.
Our friend was release and the interview ended here.
Lesson Learned: Things go alot smoother when you go with the flow!
A while back, a little bit after I was introduced to Junior and took him under my wing. I was invited to a party. Our typical parties include DJ's, lights, and of course BOOz! I decided to invite Junior to the party and introduce him to a new social setting (keep in mind that Junior's version of social is playing an online chatting game). We all got ready to go but Junior decided to go with one of my good friends (We'll call him....hmm.... Pancho). So Pancho and Junior are in one car, and we are in the other. As we approach the party we decide to race a little bit and burn our tires out (and no I dont want you to ask me why we did that) never knowing the events that would unfold.
It was roughly 10:00 pm. Beautiful spring night. I am the leading car and my buddy Pancho and Junior are tailing us as we go. I turn a corner and peel out while hugging the turn, and race it to the house were the party is happening which was about 1 block away. Pancho and Junior do the same thing how ever, by now with the screeching sound of my tires, cops are already trying to figure out what the hell is going on. What we didnt realize is that there were cops on the other side of the street watching us, two of them. As Pancho and Junior turn the corner he revs his V8 chevy engine (insert testosterone here) and peels out on the turn, he punches his truck to the limit. By this time im already parked and getting out of my car. I turn to see Pancho and Junior coming up quick and behind them 2 police cars with their lights and sirens! Cops pull them over and yell over the microphone "don't move, stay inside the vehicle". At this point I could hear the sound of Juniors butt hole tightening up (play sound now). As I approach the cops to find out what is going on (actually just to be nosey and laugh at them) the cop tells me to back off. I turn to walk the other way and notice that 2 more cop cars showed up, at this time there is 4 crusers.
Apperantly, the cops thought that my buddy had stolen the truck because "nobody in their right minds would do that in front of a police office" (their words).
Here comes the Juniorism. One cop walks over to Junior and asks him "Where are you headed son?" Junior froze like a possum, he basically tried to play dead and ignore the cop. The cop asks him again in a firm loud voice "I said, where are you headed?". Junior in the shakiest, crackiest, wimpiest voice ever to be heard on the face of this planet said "uhhh, uhhh, to a aun...friends house uhhh". The cop asked for his ID and Junior, being Junior wasnt carrying it with him. The cop asked him for his name "Whats your name son?" Junior replied with his correct name but not after forgetting it for about a minute. Before the cop walked away Junior said "ocifer, I wasnt going to drink or anything like that, I swear". This nearly incriminated my buddy and had cops searching for the party where they thought underage people were drinking.
Thanks to Junior the party was almost cancelled, but thankfully the cops had to go to a shooting. Probably some damn mexicants being gangstas!
Lesson learned: To much information is not always a good thing! Playing dead only works for possums!
This is my illustration of how I pictured the look on his face!:
When Jr was just a wee lad (probably about 9-10 yrs old) he learned a very valuable lesson. He learned about "Gravity". Now you would think that by this age he would have already picked up this simple concept. What goes up must come down. But no, not Junior.
The day started off like any other Fresno summer day, sun blazing out and the sky brown from all the nice Fresno pollution. Junior was off on summer break and found himself bored shitless apperantly. After finishing watching an episode of Superman the cartoon he decided it would be a good idea to attempt to fly. Mind you that Junior was a little bit larger than life at the time. He went out grabbed a long piece of rope from his back yard. He started off by climbing a tree and tying one end to a branch. The other end he was using to try and swing from the tree.
Now common sense tells us not to tie a rope to our stomach but good ol Junior released all his inhibitions and went for it. He tied a rope around his waist, and stood on a chair. (Jr comment: Please dont tell them that I kicked the chair from under me, tell them it slipped) Junior then kicked the chair from under him. Instantly there was a sharp pain followed by the feeling of lack of oxygen into his lungs. He was suffocating!!! Junior started yelling for his mom. Probably saying something like: MOM, I HAVE A PAIN IN MA WAIST AND I CANT BREEF! Thats just my guess. After about a minute later his mom and sister ran outside to help him. The help would have been a little bit faster if his mom and sister weren't on the floor laughing so hard at the site of Junior hanging from a tree kicking and crying! He was eventually cut down and finally realized that Cartoons are not REAL!!!
Lesson learned: The laws of Gravity, Cartoons are not real life, and how hard someone can laugh.
