Juniorism #6 (Punked by a dog)

Have you ever been terrified of anything? Drowning? Burning alive? Being eaten alive by red fire ants after someone smeared you with honey and hung you upside down from a tree? We all have our fears. But have you ever been so terrified of a DOG that you possum up and play dead? Well, Possumboy has!

Possumboy was at my house one hot summer day. I asked him to take my dog out to the back yard so she can go poop. I figured this was a no brainer. But no… Not with Junior. Shit always has to get complicated. I was sitting in my living room chillin. All of a sudden I hear a dog barking, almost sounded like a ROOOOAAARRR!! I didn’t pay much attention because I figured that it was the neighbors BIG ASS PITBULL barking up a storm again.

Let me tell you a little bit about Daisy (the neighbor’s dog). She is a beautiful full blooded pitbull. She’s also possessed by demons. This dog must have been created in the far pits of hell. If you so much as looked at the Bitch (I mean that both literally and figuratively by the way) she would nearly knock the damn fence down. Well enough of the spawn of the devil. Let’s move on with the story.

At some point I heard my little dog barking her brains out. Please understand that my dog is the size of my foot. I go outside and find my dog trying to protect Possumboy from being the dogs dinner. Apparently what happened is, Possumboy gave the demon possessed dog a dirty look. She didn’t like it and used her head as a battering ram to knock down one of the wooden fence pieces. Needless to say she was successful. The piece of wood broke off and the dog was starting to go through the fence and into my back yard.

Now a normal human being, would run their ass as fast as possible inside a house, on top of a table, climb a tree etc. But Possumboy seemed to just possum up. He just stood there watching my dog trying to protect him, watching the other dog eat my dog as an appetizer. He froze. Stood still. Didn’t move. Locked up. Played dead. Played possum. Oh yeah that’s better. I go outside and yell at Junior to get the hell inside the house. I think his brain shut off or something happened because I had to yell at him for a good 45 seconds before I had any remote reaction from him. Luckily my intelligent little dog saw me and bolted towards the door. She said “You protect your damn self Possumboy I’m out.” Finally after using my dog as an example, Possumboy ran inside and lived to possum up another day.

Lesson learned: Demonic possessions in animals is possible. Also, when a big ass animal the same size as you is trying to make its way to you, RUNNNNNNN!!! Like there’s no tomorrow!!!

PossumBoy’s comments: One of these days Im going to kill that dog.
w@rio’s comments: Ummm, it’s a little late smart. They moved!
This is a graphical representation of how I picture this in my head. N-Joy