Blast from da past #1 (I can't breef!)

When Jr was just a wee lad (probably about 9-10 yrs old) he learned a very valuable lesson. He learned about "Gravity". Now you would think that by this age he would have already picked up this simple concept. What goes up must come down. But no, not Junior.

The day started off like any other Fresno summer day, sun blazing out and the sky brown from all the nice Fresno pollution. Junior was off on summer break and found himself bored shitless apperantly. After finishing watching an episode of Superman the cartoon he decided it would be a good idea to attempt to fly. Mind you that Junior was a little bit larger than life at the time. He went out grabbed a long piece of rope from his back yard. He started off by climbing a tree and tying one end to a branch. The other end he was using to try and swing from the tree.

Now common sense tells us not to tie a rope to our stomach but good ol Junior released all his inhibitions and went for it. He tied a rope around his waist, and stood on a chair. (Jr comment: Please dont tell them that I kicked the chair from under me, tell them it slipped) Junior then kicked the chair from under him. Instantly there was a sharp pain followed by the feeling of lack of oxygen into his lungs. He was suffocating!!! Junior started yelling for his mom. Probably saying something like:
MOM, I HAVE A PAIN IN MA WAIST AND I CANT BREEF!
Thats just my guess. After about a minute later his mom and sister ran outside to help him. The help would have been a little bit faster if his mom and sister weren't on the floor laughing so hard at the site of Junior hanging from a tree kicking and crying! He was eventually cut down and finally realized that Cartoons are not REAL!!!

Lesson learned: The laws of Gravity, Cartoons are not real life, and how hard someone can laugh.

This is how I picture it: